Retail Price: $24.95

Reviewed by:
Ian Jane on February 15, 2008.

The third in the series of Schoolgirl Report films, What Parents Find Unthinkable, is a slightly darker look at the sexual high jinks of early seventies German 'schoolgirls' (always portrayed by actresses noticeably older). The camp value afforded the first two films is still here in the way of some wonky fashions and hair styles and the completely facetious narration still provides plenty of unintentionally hilarious moments. This time around, however, the cornball antics mix it up with a somewhat grisly rape scene and a vignette involving an underage boy and a teenage girl that it is in all seriousness something that most parents probably would find unthinkable.

The film follows the same formula as the earlier entries in the series. Done in a semi-documentary style, we're introduced to a few different 'schoolgirls' who regale us with tales of their carnal adventures. The first tale takes place after the Christian Young Men's Association in Hamburg has published a guide on sex education. Apparently they've gathered up a group of teens between the ages of 15-18 to discuss the results of their studies, which results in a few people going skinny dipping, only to get busted by an old lady walking her dog who asks one of the girls if it's Butt Naked Day today. From there, our heroes all head indoors for some unsupervised hanky panky in the dark. After that a girl is gang raped in the woman's room, the narrator telling us that what we're seeing is not the invention of a screenwriter, but reality. It's a rough scene, and it provides a surprisingly contrast to the playful opening romps. From there we see how supposedly trustworthy men take advantage of teen girls, one of whom cries while she's touched. We see a teacher fondle a female student in the classroom, to 'examine the fabric' of her sweater, and we hear testimony from a few more weeping girls about how they've been taken advantage of by teachers. Shortly after a girl sums up her feelings saying 'Of course they got off on it, they're men, pigs like all adults.' A girl named Ingrid watches a couple make love, and then masturbates later that night. From there, she encounters her cousin, a younger boy, in the shower. After a conversation and a play fight, they talk about the differences between boys and girls and they both disrobe. They talk about sex and she tells him to 'come over here and put it in my hole.' Ingrid's father walks in on them before anything happens and he beats her. From there we see a few more vignettes, an interesting one with a popsicle sucking 'Lolita' and her adventures with a wealthy man in a Mercedes stands out. It's particularly sleazy when he ravishes her on the top of his car. Another young girl makes love to an older man in a swimming pool while a brunette is taken advantage of in a field, claiming that her older partner 'did terrible things to me.' Towards the end of a the film a man in a suit watches a girl strip. She cries and he laughs at her before forcing himself on her in the cellar.

This is a darker, sleazier entry in the series. The narration and the on camera 'man on the street interviews' attempt to class the film up a bit but it doesn't work. There's very definitely an exploitative vibe to the picture, even more so than the ones that precede it, and while the film attempts to moralize and justify itself, the reality is that these scenes are here to titillate, not to educate. As a documentary, the picture is a farce and a failure but as a seedy, trashy European exploitation feature, there's really no way to deny that it delivers. 

It should be noted that Synapse/Impulse Films' decision to release this film completely uncut has landed them in some hot water. The first two Schoolgirl Report films were distributed through Synapse by Ryko, but that's not the case here. According to Synapse's Don May Jr., Ryko took a look at the uncut footage and opted not to carry the film. As such, it's being distributed online only through Xploited Cinema. Synapse has gone on record stating that they are committed to releasing the rest of the series uncut, and it's nice to see them standing by that even if it means slightly trickier distribution for the title.

For more information, check out EXPLOITED CINEMA, the exclusive distributor for this release, by clicking here.

Friedrich Von Thun, Michael Schreiner, Claudia Holl, Karin Götz, Werner Abrolat